Thursday, February 27, 2014

Uncle Clep's Advice on Imaginary Friends.

I’ve been thinking.  Maybe I have this all wrong.  Maybe I need some imaginary friends too.  Look how well it works for Clean Line Energy Partners. 

I spent some time talking about this with Uncle Clep today.  For an old out of date dinosaur, he had some good advice.  Imaginary friends offer many benefits.  Uncle Clep is old fashion, and sometimes doesn’t think thing through to the fullest but he explained imaginary friends can be a real resume builder.  They offer legitimacy, especially if you’re looking to venture out into a new career you know nothing about. 

Uncle Clep and I sat and ate some of his roasted grouse.  We almost an Andy Griffith & Mayberry moment.  Uncle Clep explained imaginary friends can however be complicated.  First they have to be incorporated.  This gives an imaginary friend legal rights, just like a living breathing person.  Once your imaginary friend is incorporated, he needs a charitable side.  Make the imaginary friend a 501(c)(4). 

Maybe I haven’t thought this imaginary friend thing through all the way.  As we ate his turtle soup, I told Uncle Clep this sounds complicated and expensive.   He said it is both complicated and expensive, but if you want legitimacy and respect from the media, spending money on an imaginary friend is important. 

About this time his old friends Boris Ricl and Jimmy Gbe-felty (the “G” is silent) came over.  Back in the day, Uncle Clep, Boris Ricl, and Jimmy Gbe-felty (the “G” is silent) had this shell company scheme to develop a chain of fried prairie chicken restaurants across the Midwest.  Their speculation project never did get past the business plan stage.  They had hoped to sell their fried prairie chicken project to a real restaurant franchise with actual restaurants and for real customers, but that never happened. 

Together, Uncle Clep, Ricl, and Gbe-felty (the “G” is silent) had some great ideas on creating a successful imaginary friend.  A complete social media package is key.  Web site, Facebook page, and Twitter account are important.  Boris Ricl said the combination is what gives the imaginary friend legitimacy.  The complete social media package gives an imaginary friend a heart, soul, and just enough illusion of a brain. 

It took a while to understand, but Jimmy Gbe-felty (the “G” is silent) explained it best.  The complete social media package provides the imaginary friend enough of a background and cross reference material to make people believe the friend is for real.  I asked what about a blog.  Jimmy Gbe-felty discouraged the blog as unnecessary substance.  You don’t want to give your imaginary friend too much of an opinion.

When asked about just buying one of those existing imaginary-friend-for-hire, Boris Ricl said those really get expensive.  They keep coming back and wanting more money, but never really become the imaginary friend you want them to be.  It’s better to just find a good public relations firm who works extensively with politician and pay them to create your custom made imaginary friend with a complete social media package. 

Boris Ricl went on to explain if your hair looks like it was combed with an egg beater and you spit when you talk, a person can still score a good job if you let your imaginary friend speak for you.  Once you get the job, ditch the imaginary friend. Pretend he never existed. 

Perhaps Uncle Clep, Boris Ricl, and Jimmy Gbe-felty are old, move at the speed of dinosaurs, and one of them has a tendency to spit when he talks.  They do know a thing about developing an imaginary friend to create a successful shell company with someone else’s money.

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